then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
