Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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