i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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