I CAN MOONWALK!
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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