I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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