The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize