What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
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the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
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Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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