It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
