Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
