My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
