apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
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