fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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