What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize