This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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