shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
