Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Randomize
