and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
