He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
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I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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