it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
