how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
