He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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