I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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