Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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