I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
