What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I made him laugh his dick is mine
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
