he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
