Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
