Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
