Why are handjobs necessary in class?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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