I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
