your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
