The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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