So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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