Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
