No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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