spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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