Kiss
Puke
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
