sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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