It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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