There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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