when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
