Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
