so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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