I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
