He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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