all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
birth control should be required to get into college
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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