apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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