Sry I called you an 8
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
