i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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