Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
