and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
