Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
