I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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