you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
