careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
