HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
