Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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