i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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