my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
