and you said cock pushups were impossible
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
