Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
