why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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