So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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