Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
