You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
