Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
